Can anyone think of some good alternative captions for this?  I’m thinking “We can’t go on like this.  I am going to lose 3st AND break the world pie-eating record”.  It makes about as much sense.*

Neither of the major parties are covering themselves in glory right now, fiscal-policy wise.  (I can’t keep agreeing with Fraser Nelson like this, surely . . .)

UPDATE:   Someone has now done this much better over here.

* I think another ought to be: “Don’t worry.  I’m the only Conservative face you’ll see for the next 6 months.  We appreciate that the rest scare the *!*#@* out of you”.


10 thoughts on “On the subject of impossible promises

  1. You can break the world pie eating record and lose weight if you cut your consumption of everything else. You can cut the deficit and not cut the NHS (although since NHS spending is mainly made up of wages, raising spending in line with prices will be a quantity cut) if you are prepared to cut defence, transport, benefits, education, etc etc. Presumably we could offer a “university education” for half the current fees, by dint of tripling class sizes, cutting library budgets, abolishing student feedback, cutting the quality of exam marking (say, by only marking one essay in three?), abolishing student sports facilities, making students buy their own computers, etc etc. Whether we want to do these things is another matter…

  2. “We can’t go on like this, or else I’ll end up in Number 10 without a clue how to drag us out of this hole…”

    Either/or is the Tories only hope – paint themselves as the only alternative to what is on offer at the moment. They seem to be hoping that no body will scritunise their actual policies – damm those pesky bloggists…!

  3. ‘We are going back to basics.

    ‘I’ll cut your wages and the NHS’.


    Read Thomas Mann for a change at

    They’ve really done their best to make him look like Chucky from Child’s Play!

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